Mr. Jennings, A Direct Question

[Lilly]

On the bright side, it inspired me to write the following: my bid to make the inevitable Ken Jennings biopic (I see Bruce Willis as Jennings) into a musical. I call this showstopper "March of the Easily Led."

I'm a composer . . . if you'll be the lyricist and I write the music, we can make this happen!

This is great! I love it!

[periwinkle]

Another song for the musical:

"The Ballad of the Angry Bees"

"Why are we angry?
We're Fleming fans! We're Fleming fans!
We're old school, baby,
the cash shouldn't be so high.
In our day, baby,
you got 10 bucks!
And you liked it!
And if you came in second
got enough Rice-a-Roni to choke

So scrap those high winnings
(what next, extra innings?)
this game we're condemning
so bring back Art Fleming!
His head in a jar
will award no new car
He'll ask a tough clue
it's long overdue
This game will inform
or else . . . we . . . will SWARRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!"

[deborah]

"The Ballad of the Angry Bees"

This is truly beautiful, and I daresay, inspirational.

Look out Broadway, here we come!

[WendellWit]

Remember, songwriters: "Angry bee" rhymes with "Jeopardy!"

[bobg]

Look out Broadway, here we come!

I just want to know one thing: if we use the name of the game show on which Ken made his name as the title of our musical, and if (being a musical) it needs its own trailing exclamation point, must the title then be:

Jeopardy!!

??

[deborah]

Jeopardy!!

??

I think that's a brilliant idea. OR we could call it, "Ken Jennings, Jeopardy! Superstar!" (make it sound like an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical enough and maybe we can open in London first).

[VirgeZ]

And Regarding your alex trebeckatron.. The Real question we are all wondering and not voicing, DID YOU KEN find out his secret to looking the EXACT same for the last 30 years? Does he have a wax double or something? IF he looks a bit off, does he put in his wax double? or has he had plastic surgery? Alex trebeck, s second best body double has to be SNL. ITS A biG HAT.. ok. snl fans Anyway, I like the robot alex better. wax can melt EW.
Virge

[Professor John]

Mister Jennings- Do you or do you not advocate releasing angry bees on nationally-syndicated game shows? America is awaiting your honest treatment of this dire question.

You know, because a lot of people are allergic. I'd assume there'd be some lawsuits to deal with.

How about releasing those angry bees in/on Congress!

[Professor John]

Jeopardy!!

??

I think that's a brilliant idea. OR we could call it, "Ken Jennings, Jeopardy! Superstar!" (make it sound like an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical enough and maybe we can open in London first).

If you are puzzled about why people in the US have failed to pick up Ken's joke re Alex...I guarantee the Brits will not get that musical!

[deborah]

Jeopardy!!

??

I think that's a brilliant idea. OR we could call it, "Ken Jennings, Jeopardy! Superstar!" (make it sound like an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical enough and maybe we can open in London first).

If you are puzzled about why people in the US have failed to pick up Ken's joke re Alex...I guarantee the Brits will not get that musical!

I'll bet Andrew Lloyd Webber would appreciate it, though.

(At least Brits generally have a better sense of satire than Americans do, even Canadians get it better!)

[bobg]

Jeopardy!!

??

I think that's a brilliant idea. OR we could call it, "Ken Jennings, Jeopardy! Superstar!"

Ha ha! Which reminds me, we will of course require one song sung to the tune of the Jeopardy! theme.

Can't believe how
Much I know
You'd think I'd have bet-
ter things to do than
Be a star on this game show
But
This is
Amer-
i-
ca

(Hey Ken: I kid because I love. You too, America.)

Cheers,
- Bob

[justastudent]

This is the funniest musical I've ever heard of, and it doesn't even really exist. Personally, I would like to design the costumes for "The Ballad of the Angry Bees". But for now, my contribution to "Jeopardy!!" will be this song, in which I have shamelessly stolen the Jeopardy-angry bees rhyme (thanks, WendellWit!) .

"Ken's Lament"

I never would have guessed the outcome
When I first went on TV
I knew that Jeopardy means danger
But not that they meant it literally

I've loved the show for years
Even with cyborg Trebek
But when I wrote my blog I learned
America needs a humor-check

How could so many people
Believe that I want angry bees
Ventriloquists and Arby-Q's
On my beloved Jeopardy?

In truth I love the show
I don't think Trebek's a hoax
Fetch me the head of Michael Starr!
See that? That was a JOKE.


It's too bad Ken no longer has the giant head. It would have made an amazing prop.

[deborah]

"Ken's Lament"

Beautiful. I almost cried.

[Till_We_Have_Faces]

Truly creative, bobg. What a nice way to put this issue in perspective. Thank you.

[Ken Jennings Jr.]

OK, I couldn't resist:

I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN GAME SHOW PRODIGY

I am the very model of a modern game show prodigy
The typically mundane I know as well as every oddity
I count the county seats and can recite what’s even rarer
The table periodical as lyricized by Lehrer

I know my categories –dare I say it – categorically
And justify the oxymoron “rising meteorically”
So Harvey was invisible; his total was bisected
While Lazarus on this occasion was not resurrected

And also Youngblood, Fountain, Mason, Butler, Ascatigno
Fry, Cook, Miller, Davis, Parker, Ottinger, Sabino
Watson, Weiden, Wolman, Wolpert, Vanderloo, Aquino

I studied alcoholically to know my gin and tonics
I ken the Scottish firths and lochs and know what be ebonics
I thumbed my nose and buzzer at all those who took a shot at me
I am the very the model of a modern game show prodigy

His challengers he turned away to tread the melancholy path
That’s why he is the model of a modern game show polymath

They marvel that my superheroes acumen is thorough
And I shed light on the darkness of the art of chiaroscuro
I know the moons of Saturn down from Titan to Hyperion
And broke the bank with knowledge of a pair of ghosts Shakespearean

I love “before and after” posing cinema disjuncture
And I know the Yin and Yang used in Sinitic acupuncture
I adlib my vignette following the first round of the show
And I think I understand just what a rake does with a ho.

Joseph, Allen, Gordon, Carroll, Mellet, Werner, Poss
Borgemenke, Magdalana, Perry, Ellis, House,
Edwards, England, Dolan, Duffy, Halgren, Hornik, Koss

By Jove, I know my Jupiter, my Zeus and Zoroaster
From icons carved in marble, soapstone, jade or alabaster
No matter if you throw a Roman, Greek, or Persian god at me
I am the very the model of a modern game show prodigy

A master of all facts be they subjective or empirical
He is the very model of a modern game show miracle

I found the Daily Doubles with a method perpendicular
Not David’s maddening approach so forcefully testicular
And tallying the score I found my challengers confounded
By my numbers Rubensesque (they were voluptuously rounded)

I know that Arthur Sullivan wrote music for the hymnal
As well as legal boilerplate for civil law and crimn’l
I’m fluent in ten languages including C and Java
And can differentiate Hawaiian aa types of lava

So down went Osborne, Cudahy, DeGiulio, and Keller
Meyer, Greene, Smith, Hartz, Watts, Min, Ford, Murray, Thom, Costello
Harris, Matthews, Oosterhuis, Suchard, Skopelja, Scheller

But still I knew the day would come that overtaxed my knowledge
For businesses and industry I never learned in college
A loss is not a tragedy since every loser got a G
I’m still the very model of a modern game show prodigy

But still it is with pleasure we decree this fine tautology
He is the very model of a modern game show prodigy

Cheers!

[Professor John]

LOL

[deborah]

OK, I couldn't resist:

I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN GAME SHOW PRODIGY

You win. That's amazing. Forget musicals -- we're moving on to operettas! Look out Gilbert and Sullivan Society of Seattle, here we come!

[Professor John]

Let's don't and say we did...

[dnkoenigin]

...it only required this. Thank you for reaching out to my own little corner of nerdy obsessiveness -- G&S.

Vast swaths of the trivia went right over my head, but, trust me to notice, and humbly point out, that Gilbert was the lawyer.

(Oh -- and I can't remember what thread it was in, but, even if you can't find the movie version of Joseph Papp's "Pirates" on dvd, the stage version is available (I believe on Kultur) on dvd. With Patricia Routledge (Hyacinth Bucket) as Ruth, rather than Angela Lansbury (and I think, Clive Revill as the MJ).)

Sorry for going off topic.

Kate

[rkd]

OK, I couldn't resist:

I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN GAME SHOW PRODIGY
...

Wow! Those are some magnificent rhymes ... thorough with chiaroscuro, perpendicular with testicular, Zoroaster with alabaster. If Ken does end up with a game show some day, maybe a portion of this could be the opening theme music!

--Raj Dhuwalia, hoping I never hear my dad use the word "testicular"

[polarea]

Wow, does Ken really speak 8 spoken languages fluently? I'm guessing if that's a real fact, you got it from the break anecdotes on jeopardy, but I can't seem to find a list of all 75 "getting to know Ken" anecdotes. Anyone know if there is such a thing?

So I'm guessing Ken knows:

English
Spanish
Korean

What are the other ones?

Edit: Duh, I'm guessing you didn't have to get all that info from Jeopardy anecdotes if you're his dad! Ooops, I guess I had just assumed that Ken Jennings Jr. was just an overly adoring fan moniker. I keep forgetting that people Ken actually knows frequent this site. Apologies for my assumptions.

[themanwho]

Quoting Ken Jr./Sr.:

A loss is not a tragedy since every loser got a G
I’m still the very model of a modern game show prodigy

---


That's genius, man.

-M

[themanwho]

Wow, does Ken really speak 8 spoken languages fluently? I'm guessing if that's a real fact, you got it from the break anecdotes on jeopardy, but I can't seem to find a list of all 75 "getting to know Ken" anecdotes. Anyone know if there is such a thing?

So I'm guessing Ken knows:

English
Spanish
Korean

What are the other ones?

Mermish
Latin
Pig Latin
Klingon
and Mormon

-M
In a silly mood.

[Till_We_Have_Faces]

Let's don't and say we did...

Which might be a break from your usual "Let's do and say we didn't"?

[Ken Jennings]

Sadly, I'm only fluent in English and Spanish. "Four languages including C and Java" scans, but maybe it's a little less impressive.

Apparently (assuming these are real names) I beat a Perry and an Ellis. Alex Trebek, suits by Perry Ellis.