Popular music spoilers

[skullturfq]

I thought it might be amusing to try to assemble a list of these.

--Marie is only six years old.
--Sheila was a man.
--I'm a man, and so is Lola.
--I married the fortune teller.

Other suggestions?

[pikeprof]

The sun rose?

The Walrus was Paul?

Rocky Racoon Got Shot and Died?

Desmond And Molly Got Married, had kids and appeared to lead a relatively happy life with Desmond running a fruit and veg stand?

[mavman]

That Harper Valley slut was my mama.

Some folks didn't know who Norma Jean was until the end of that song.

Willie McCoy (Slim) wins the knife fight.

[skullturfq]

I'm too sexy for this song.

[TheConfessor]

Big Joe died when he was driving Phantom 309 and swerved to avoid killing a bunch of kids in a school bus.
Laurie died on her birthday, a year ago today.
Billy Joe MacAllister was seen throwing something off the bridge.

[pikeprof]

The Reverend Mr. Black was, indeed, my father.

While very strong, Big John got crushed in the mining accident and they erected a memorial in front of it, and did not re-open the mine.

The guy stopped loving her today, because he's dead.

The reason they never found Timothy was because Joe and the other guy ate him.

[skullturfq]

50 years of history and pop culture culminate in rock 'n roller cola wars, which is difficult to take.

[pikeprof]

50 years of history and pop culture culminate in rock 'n roller cola wars, which is difficult to take.

At the end of my rainbow lies a golden oldie

[malonetd]

Little sister killed Andy. You see little sister don't miss when she aims her gun.

The girl Common used to love was Hip Hop.

Johnny was a better fiddle player.

It was the ghost of Hank Williams giving Coe a ride.

[Bill]

"And when we're through with you, we'll get me one too."

"I heard his fiancee got a letter, that told how Billy died that day."

In the video for Eminem's "Mosh," the angry mob is on their way to go vote.

[SMWinnie]

You, too, are complicit in the deaths of John F. and Robert Kennedy.

Frustrated over going home with a lesbian, I torched the place.

My absent father gave me a girl's name not as a joke, but to make me strong for a hard world. I've forgiven him but I still hate the d*mned name.

I chose to die rather than admit a dalliance with my best friend's wife. And she let me.

[jzerocsk]

Major Tom was a junkie!
Richard Corey kills himself!

You can get a lot of these from the Harry Chapin catalog since so many of the songs tell stories...

Old John Joseph at least told the truth about one thing...Corey was real!
The truck full of bananas crashes!
The night watchman goes home with the fat waitress!
Mr. Tanner's debut was a critical flop!
Harry and Sue do meet again!

I particularly like the first one and last one (and The walrus was Paul!) because the spoiler comes from a completely different song.

[Neel Mehta]

the spoiler comes from a completely different song.

Well, in that case, the Seether's Louise.

[silverscreentest]

You and I are not gay and you can't have her, Bill.
Dave ran into the lake without his pants. Jane and I had sex on bare earth.
My policeman father survived the battle with Al Capone's gang.

[tOdd]

The day the music died, amid cries and screams, the Holy Trinity took the last train to...some beach somewhere

[Dobie]

I thought it might be amusing to try to assemble a list of these.

--Marie is only six years old.

That's actually a stereotype. Even in Tennessee they don't like them that young.

If we donate money to famine victims in Africa we're actually somehow saving our own lives. We, of course, being the world, i.e. the children.

[wimple]

Maxwell killed the judge
The cake left in the rain got all soggy and inedible

[mavman]

Apparently, blind high school football spectators gain eyesight upon death.

Against all advice, Billy becomes heroic.

Who names a horse after a catastrophic environmental holocaust?

[Craig S. Cottingham]

The following day, a solitary combatant, apparently made of tin, exits the area upon a horse.

[skullturfq]

Ironically, it was my current girlfriend who answered my personal ad that mentioned, among other things, tropical drinks and weather patterns.

[ArtVark]

Barbrie Ellen and William did not get together until they were vegetation.

[Ken Jennings]

Ironically, it was my current girlfriend who answered my personal ad that mentioned, among other things, tropical drinks and weather patterns.

FTW!

What about songs where the twist is in the sequel?
Peggy Sue got married not long ago.
Johnny left Judy, the slut. She can bite it.
The Almighty did NOT, in fact, make "honky tonk angels."

[malonetd]

This could almost be a quiz in itself. There's a few of these songs I don't know.

[jzerocsk]

Ironically, it was my current girlfriend who answered my personal ad that mentioned, among other things, tropical drinks and weather patterns.

FTW!

What about songs where the twist is in the sequel?
Peggy Sue got married not long ago.
Johnny left Judy, the slut. She can bite it.
The Almighty did NOT, in fact, make "honky tonk angels."

A couple already mentioned -
Space Oddity -> Ashes to Ashes
Taxi -> Sequel

[RingoOSU]

I thought a woman was to blame for my alcoholism, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I am responsible for my own actions.