Thanks to an interesting thread over on the message boards, I’ve just learned something new. A Tuesday Trivia question last week was built around the fact that “Something” was the only U.S. Beatles #1 single not written by Lennon-McCartney. I was pretty sure this was true. If nothing else, it’s on Wikipedia!

“Something” was the only Harrison composition to top the American charts while he was a Beatle.

Well, that’s technically true, and it’s sort of misleading. The full story is a little more interesting.

1. “Come Together” and its flip side, “Something” entered the Billboard charts separately in 1969, as was Billboard policy at the time. They peaked at #2 and #3 respectively–until November 29 of that year, when Billboard decided to change its policy about counting A and B sides of singles separately. The combined chart entry, “Come Together/Something,” then had just enough oomph to hit #1 for a week. I guess it’s a Lennon-McCartney-Harrison composition, then.
2. At least “Come Together/Something” was a “double A side,” so there’s no way to really say which song was the main attraction. The Beatles’ last #1, in June 1970, was “The Long and Winding Road,” right? Wrong! Billboard listed it together with its B-side, another Harrison song. Officially, the Beatles’ last US #1 was therefore “The Long and Winding Road/For You Blue.” I’m not sure why. In this case there was no ambiguity as to which side was the main release. Was Billboard listing both songs from all double-sided singles at this time? Maybe so.
3. So what about Wikipedia’s claim that “Something” was Harrison’s only #1 as a Beatle? How is that true when there are two Beatles singles that Billboard would credit to “Lennon-McCartney/Harrison”? Here’s the third technicality: by the time “For Your Blue” sorta topped the charts, the Beatles had officially broken up back in May! So “For You Blue” isn’t quite Harrison’s first solo #1 or his last #1 as a Beatle. Which is okay, I guess, since nobody really remembers it anyway.

Right now I’m listening to the new Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds album, Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!! It’s great, borderline brilliant–maybe the best work of art ever with multiple exclamation points in the title. Actually, I can’t think of much competition, besides the Powell-Pressburger movie Oh…Rosalinda!! I guess there’s also this Australian children’s TV show and this Oakland electropop band. Can anyone think of other examples? If I were in charge, Jeopardy! would add a second exclamation mark for its second round. Double Jeopardy!!

Reader Matthew Baldwin sent me the link to a great quiz he just posted. Can you identify rock songs with all the words their lyrics given in alphabetical order? Bonus question: is this a “transformative work“?

Your quick moment of Wordplay Wednesday: this one’s not original, but I don’t think it’s too well-known. The name of HAL, the psycho computer in 2001, can be produced by taking the brand name “IBM” and shifting its three letters back one spot in the alphabet (I–>H, B–>A, and M–>L). Now: can you take a word meaning “happiness,” shift all its letters forward seven letters in the alphabet, and produce a word meaning “happy”?

Some of the people below are very famous. Others are world-famous for their work, though you might not recognize them immediately from their portraits. A few are well-known in their field, though not really household names. So some research will be required.

Based on what they all have in common, can you figure out who’s missing from the list?

Edited to add: This has been explained, and collaboratively solved, here.

It may sound crazy, but there was a time–not so long ago!–when hit movies were adapted from Broadway musicals, and not the other way around.

I just got the DVD of Tim Burton’s Sweeney Todd, one of my favorite movies from last year. Sondheim purists have carped a lot about the score of the film. It’s wall-to-wall music, but it’s still missing six whole songs from the original production, include “The Ballad of Sweeney Todd,” the play’s signature tune. It’s a risky choice–imagine filming The Sound of Music without the title song or Evita without “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina”–but it works.

Usually the songs left out of movie musicals are wise cuts, ones that the original creators might have been wise to make themselves if they hadn’t been a little blinkered by their own genius. Here are some favorite curios:

The King and I. The movie cuts the lovely “I Have Dreamed,” but at least we’re spared the goofy hymn to cultural relativism “Western People Funny,” which boasts immortal lyrics like “They feel so sentimental / About the Oriental, / They always try to turn us / Inside down down and upside out!” The final couplets (”They think they civilize us / Whenever they advise us / To learn to make the same mistake / That they are making too!”) make moral-hammer Rodgers-and-Hammerstein songs like “You’ve Got To Be Carefully Taught,” from South Pacific, look subtle by comparison.

Fiddler on the Roof. Norman Jewison’s movie is missing the big song for the Commie character Perchik, “Now I Have Everything,” which is probably for the best–it’s a forgettable song with a lousy finish. And its second act gets a lot more serious with the removal of “The Rumor,” an elaborate (but pointless) on-stage game of Telephone in which the townsfolks’ info gets further from the truth with every verse…with hilarious results!!!
Chicago. Filmed but cut from the final version was the broad Queen Latifah-Catherine Zeta-Jones comic duet “Class,” possibly the only song in Broadway to rhyme the word “snot” with “twat.” (The title is rhymed with both “pain in the ass” and “passing their gas.”)

The Music Man. The rare case where a very good song from the original show was replaced with an inferior one: Marian the Librarian’s “I want” song (as they might call it over at Disney) is the very pretty “My White Knight.” In the 1962 film, the hummable parts are neatly trimmed out of the song, now re-titled “Being in Love.” Why gut the song? Because the chorus was written by Frank Loesser, not Music Man composer Meredith Willson, and the change gave the movie an all-Willson score.

Grease. You probably know that the famous songs people actually like (the title track, “Hopelessly Devoted to You,” “You’re the One That I Want”) weren’t in the original show. Where John Travolta sings “Sandy,” the original Broadway Danny (Barry Bostwick!) sings the memorably titled “Alone at a Drive-In Movie.” Sample lyric: “It’s a feeling that ain’t too groovy / Watching werewolves without you.”

The Sound of Music. My personal favorite. Do you ever watch the movie and think, “How come the chilly Baroness and creepy Uncle Max don’t get to sing more?” Well, Rodgers and Hammerstein were way ahead of you! The Broadway play featured not one but two so-bad-they’re-good numbers with the two fun-lovin’ Austrians. In “How Can Love Survive,” the rich aristocrats lament the fact that grimy poor people get all the good love stories. (Also, they rhyme “freezing breezes” with “Mercedeses.”) Even worse is “No Way to Stop It,” a jaunty little ode to the inevitability of the Nazi Anschluss of Austria! It ends with the shrill line “I! I! I! Nothing quite as wonderful as I!” which I think might be a quote from Atlas Shrugged.

My editor says that Ken Jennings’s Trivia Almanac has been chosen as a “featured alternate” for the Quality Paperback Club and Book of the Month Club this summer, which is cool. I’ve never been a featured alternate for anything before, not even pee-wee soccer.

I wonder if it bothers the Quality Paperback Club that the Trivia Almanac isn’t a paperback. And has very little quality.

By the way, do you remember the Cake of the Month Club? I think I remember it as a Wheel of Fortune giveaway back in the day, when winners had to choose their own prizes. Like, if you had $150 left over, Pat/Chuck wouldn’t let you keep it in cash–you had to pick the crappiest item in their little showcase. I never would have gone with the ceramic Dalmatian. I want the Cake of the Month Club.

Somebody over on the message boards pointed out that the FAQ page on this blog is one of the top hits for the Googled phrase “I love Ken.” This is interesting to me, since the phrase “I love Ken” appears nowhere on my FAQ page. And wouldn’t it be creepy if it did?

The conversation then moved on to weird search terms that have led people to posters’ respective websites. Curious, I poked around with Google Analytics a little to see what search terms had helped out my traffic over the last month. Lots of hits for “back to basics toys,” interestingly–so it looks like bad customer service is the gift that keeps on giving. Lots of people trying to figure out the answer to that stupid analogy question about frogs and dinosaurs. Surprisingly strong showings, at this late date, for “baracklash” (ahead of the curve!) and “giant ken jennings head.”

Here are a few of the odder items in the list. (Yes, I know this kind of thing is a bloggers-with-writer’s-block standby. But that’s okay because I’m a blogger with writer’s block today. I couldn’t even come up with a good Wordplay Wednesday.)

• domo arigato, mr. gelato what does this mean
• kentucky derby boob slip
• that girl in the sun chips commercial
• denzel washington speaking yiddish
• velvet paint by number jesus (Wait, you’ve seen my living room?)
• subway jared conspiracy (He ate JFK!)
• an evening in belgium
  
• sobriquet amish cannon (???)
• +gay +”guy with big ears” (Hope I’m the top hit here!)
• trivia that you can’t google (But then why are you…you can’t…my head just exploded.)
• al gore sataniste
• sexy hot lady or girls with animal zoo (This guy likes ladies and girls! Also zebras.)
• dog eats spackle
• alex trebek im sorry (Alex forgives you, my child. Go thy way and sin no more.)
• nude piefight
• baptism of pocahontas 6 toes
• ask trivia porn
• customers want crown molding upside down (Bastards!)
• the mormon guy running for president
• does alex trabeck know the answers to jeopardy
• peeping tom, how to (The comma is what elevates this one to genius.)
• fan club de anne murray chanteuse
• laverne and shirley muscle relaxer
• how to score with a mormon chick (Lots of Anne Murray; no nude piefights.)
• tv show fat twins slept in plastic containers (Ah, Masterpiece Theatre, I believe.)

Bonus question: which of these would make the best name for a rock band? Defend your answer. I’m going “dog eats spackle” but your mileage may vary.

On the plus side, there were lots of hits for “whatever happened to ken jennings” and equivalents. Glad I could help!

It looks increasingly like the Oklahoma City Sonics will be leaving Seattle after forty-one years. The sleazy new owners may end up leaving the team name and history here if it makes for a quicker getaway, so the city may be able to resurrect the Sonics using an expansion team or the Milwaukee Bucks or something. But for a few seasons at least, Seattle will be NBA-less while a metropolitan area a third its size gets its franchise.

Which got me thinking: what large American cities have disproportionately small pro sports “footprints”? And what small cities have big ones? Here’s the list, based on 2006 Census Bureau population estimates and grouping teams with their market’s largest city.

Largest city missing a pro sports franchise: L.A., of course, which hasn’t had an NFL team since 1994.

Largest city with just one pro sports franchise: San Antonio, the nation’s seventh largest city, is the biggest with just one team, the Spurs. In terms of metropolitan areas, it’s Portland, Oregon, the 23rd most populous area in the country.

Largest city with no sports franchises at all: Austin, Texas (#16), if you for some reason think hockey is a major sport. Otherwise, it’s San Jose (#10). If you go by metropolitan areas, it’s Southern California’s “Inland Empire” (Riverside, San Bernadino, etc.) which the Census Bureau groups separately from L.A.

Smallest city with a sports franchise: Green Bay, Wisconsin (#257 among cities, #153 among metro areas) by a long shot. I think the closest runner-up among cities is Salt Lake City, #124, and among metro areas it’s actually New Orleans, #51.

Smallest city with multiple sports franchises: New Orleans, as above, is the smallest such city and metro area, now that it has the Hornets back full-time from their Oklahoma City time-share. (It just occurred to me that, therefore, you can blame Katrina for the Sonics’ exodus from Seattle.)

Smallest city with franchises in all four sports: Atlanta (#34 by cities) has all four. (If you’re a non-NHL type, or think of St. Paul as a suburb, Minneapolis at #47 has the other three.) By metro area it’s Denver (#21), or Cleveland (#25) for hockey skeptics.

When the Sonics head east, Seattle-Tacoma will be the biggest market in the country with teams in just two sports.

With Iron Man’s $100 million box office weekend, the triumph of the nerds is complete. It’s now possible for a movie with a superhero you’ve never even heard of–one for which no Underoos ever sold–to make ten times more money in its first weekend than a movie like Once made in its entire domestic run. All you need is the word “-man” in the title and you’re good. Look out for Elongated Man Begins…in theaters Summer 2011.

Speaking of obscure comic book characters, here’s a street sign near my sister’s house in southern Oregon.

I wonder if this guy lives there?

And while I’m thinking about superhero movies, reader Eric Williams wrote in to say that he had recently Netflixed a favorite movie, only to find that his main reaction, rewatching it now was…well, in his words: “Holy smokes, Spidey and Iron Man are doin’ it!” What movie features this unintentional super-hero…er, team-up? And, while we’re at it, in what movie could you find these accidental comic “crossovers”? (These range from sorta-obvious to insanely hard.)

1. Wolverine and Batman–mortal enemies!
2. Mister Fantastic saving the life of The Phantom’s fiancee!
3. J. Jonah Jameson as Kitty Pryde’s secret father!
4. The Penguin mentoring Judge Dredd!
5. Ghost Rider and Punisher–in jail together!
6. Catwoman gets Dick Tracy’s groove on!
7. Nick Fury in a hostage standoff with Lex Luthor!
8. Daredevil enlists–and serves under The Shadow!
9. Sabertooth sleeping with The Hulk’s wife!
10. The Joker menaces Olive Oyl with an axe!

No post yesterday and not much of one today because we’re visiting my sister in Oregon this weekend. We were worried about how Caitlin would do with a long, long car trip, but as long as she was fed a steady stream of goldfish crackers and Teddy Grahams, she was fine. Dad of the year!

Back Tuesday.

I was supposed to tape a little thing for A&E today. Why? Because they’re doing some kind of show on people who are big fans of the singer Jewel. Oops, excuse me, I just followed my own Wikipedia link. I mean, “big fans of singer, songwriter, actress, poet, and philanthropist Jewel.” Philanthropist?!

If you’re surprised to hear that I’m such a big Jewel fan…well, yeah, so was I. It turns out that Jewel and I have exactly the same birthday, day/month/year. So of course, figured A&E, I’d want to chat with her!

Gore Vidal once said you should never turn down an offer to have sex or appear on television, so I thought WWGVD?, as I always do, and immediately said yes. Even though I didn’t really have anything to say to Jewel.

I finally thought of a question, but A&E called Monday to say that, due to budget issues, they wouldn’t be coming to my house to tape my video audience with Jewel after all. Rats. Because I was going to ask:

Hi Jewel! In many uncanny ways we’ve lived parallel lives. Both born on May 23, 1974, to Mormon parents, and so forth. I’ve always thought of you as my yodeling, non-Jeopardy!-playing twin sister. My question is, what time of day were you born? Sometimes people ask me which of us is older, and I’d like to know. Love Ken. XOXOXO

Now we’ll never know. Sniff.

Wordplay Wednesday! Almost forgot.

1. Take something that any college course has one of. Remove the last two letters; replace them with “LE.” Now you have something that any college course has exactly five of. What are the words?
2. Sometimes movie titles contain other movie titles, using ordered (but not necessarily consecutive) letters. For example, Wings of Desire contains Wind forward, and Reds backward (Wings of Desire). What Best Picture Oscar winner contains one fellow Best Picture winner spelled forward, and another spelled backward?